Nov. 2010
So here’s the back story….. I met my ex-husband when I was 19 and in college. He is 10 years older than I am. He was my first boyfriend and love. We dated for 8 years before we got married (I was 27). We were married for 13 years. So for those of you whom math is a challenge… we were together for 21 years. That’s a long time! Along the way we lived together, relocated, had a child, had great times and lots of fun and over time grew apart.
It’s a common story. One day you wake up 21 years later and your spouse has become a stranger. Your partner, lover, best friend and husband is gone and in his place is a really good roommate and father. It seems to happen overnight, but I know that’s not what happened. I wish I could put my finger on it. When did he stop coming to bed and start sleeping on the sofa in the basement? When did we stop having datenight? When did we start only talking about our child? When did I start hoping that he wouldn’t want to have sex? When did he stop telling me I was beautiful?
We did what we were suppose to. We went to counseling, but my heart really wasn’t in it at that point. I wanted to see what else was out there. I wanted to feel passion and new love again! I never went to prom in High School, spent my Spring Breaks with my boyfriend and never dated ANYONE else! What had I missed out on? I wanted to know. I wanted to find a man who made me feel alive again!
What I didn’t know was that the dating world had changed DRAMATICALLY in the last 21 years. The last time I “dated” the internet didn’t exist, no cell phones, next texting, no FB, no online dating sites (of course because there was NO INTERNET)! I was about to enter a world I wasn’t prepared for.
So this blog is a record of what a 40 year-old recently divorced, highly successful, athletic, attractive, mother of one has learned in the past few years of dating.